Wolf Like Me
by queenhumphrey
Summary: After being put down by Blair and told she's too much to handle for her dad, Jenny decides to seek comfort in the arms of someone unexpected. Oneshot lemon, complete.


**Summary:** After being put down by Blair and told she's too much to handle for her dad, Jenny decides to seek comfort in the arms of someone unexpected. Oneshot lemon, complete.

**Rated:** Mature for sexual content

**A/N:** For the most part this could be inserted into Gossip Girl's S3 finale, but I wrote it with the intention of not really ignoring Jenny's first time being with Chuck, but more or less deconstructing it. Plus I have plans for this later, don't hate~

Blair was right. Everyone hated me. Even my own father couldn't take me anymore － he'd decided to ship me off to mom's instead of dealing with me. And it was understandable. I'd purposefully tried to sabotage his marriage to Lily, I'd been dating Damien for most of the year who really only used me for dealing drugs and tried for sex as well, but I've always wanted my first time to be special. With someone I loved.

I was still recovering from the conversation with my dad, but I couldn't stay here anymore.

I needed to see Nate.

I walked over to the duffel bag I'd been using more frequently these days and picked it up, quickly opening my dresser drawer and grabbing the clothes that were in there, stuffing them into the bag out of anger and urgency. There was something about just thinking of seeing him that made me feel better.

My feelings rushed from angry to impatient as I walked down the stairs and made it out front. It seemed I couldn't control my excitement even if I wanted to.

I was greeted by the family car, which had definitely helped in getting me there quicker, though it did no good in the long run.

As I got off the elevator there was total silence in the apartment. Not unusual, but if Nate was there I would've expected a small voice from the TV. Maybe a CD or movie playing － something.

"Nate?" I called out his name in one last act of desperation and walked over to the open bedroom, the bed having still been freshly made from this morning as far as I could see. Which of course meant only one thing － that he wasn't here.

Just as I was about to leave I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and in that same moment the light flicked on, giving a yellow glow to Chuck and everything around him. He was drinking something, I couldn't tell what. But obviously whatever he'd planned for him and Blair hadn't gone over well.

"Chuck what're you doing?"

"Trying to forget. I did the most romantic thing I could think of and it didn't work. It was never going to."

"I'm sorry.."

I didn't exactly know what to say, but I watched as he took another sip from his glass.

"Well um.. I guess if Nate's not here I'll go." I looked around the room, not really sure what would happen next, or what he would do. He was my step-brother after all. "Not that I really have anywhere _to_ go..."

"You can stay here if you want. It's not like you haven't before."

I blinked at his statement and took a step back. His words having inflicted a bit more pain than they usually would have, or should have for that matter.

"Well... yeah. But that was always with Nate... playing video games or.. watching movies or whatever."

Chuck shook his head and held up his glass, obviously not agreeing with what I'd said. "Well I don't play video games so if you wanna hang with me you do what I do."

After a moment or two of slight hesitation I sighed and set my bag down on the chair across from Chuck as I walked over to him and took the glass while I sat down. "I'm trying to forget some things too... mostly how happy I thought I'd be once I made it in this world..." I looked into the glass and gave a small grimace before taking a sip.

"The world you're looking for only exists, from the outside. The only reason I survive in it is because I always knew it was empty.."

For 3 years I'd wanted nothing more than to be in, to wear the beautiful designer clothes that everyone at Constance had and to be one of Blair's friends. Wear a headband that signaled to everyone around that I belonged. But now that I was in, all I wanted was to be out. It wasn't what I thought it would be. It seemed like nothing in my life was.

"Yeah.. well now I know too. I found out the hard way.." Nothing good had ever come out of this world for me. I didn't want it anymore.

"The hard way... is the only way."

I looked at Chuck after taking another sip and handed the glass to him. He took the glass in his hand and as I was pulling away held onto the few fingers that had inadvertently touched his, like any hand off. It felt like magic for a few seconds as he slowly looked up at me. It was slight, but his face underwent a change. Immediately I knew what he was thinking, what he wanted, what he longed for.

We were the same it seemed － the both of us wanted something we couldn't have, we were both outcasts at times, me more than Chuck, but it was all the same anyway. He was in pain, I was in pain, what more was there at this point?

My eyes darted up through their lashes to Chuck. Just his concentration on me, as if he'd never seen anything more fascinating, never been more engrossed in someone made me want to touch him, kiss him. I leaned in closer, and closer still until finally our lips met. Chuck let out a small sigh of satisfaction and took the drink from my hand, setting it down on the table as he reached up to my face and cupped my cheeks in his hand.

It was a small kiss at first, gentle even. But he must've been able to sense how I felt, for in a moment's time his tongue darted out to trace the planes of my lips as his hands bunched in the front of my dress.

I closed my eyes and leaned into him as his lips trailed from mine, down to my jaw and finally landed on my neck. In an almost needy way he held me close to him as he licked and bit at it, leaving what I was sure would be marks I'd be disgusted with in the morning.

But I'd never seen this side of Chuck before. In truth, I felt slightly unnerved to, yet at the same time I was utterly fascinated by him. This was the same man that had tried to sexually assault me at the Kiss on the Lips Party two years ago after all, and now here he was. Here we were. At out lowest low, seeking comfort in each other.

"Chuck," I quietly moaned his name, causing him to reluctantly look up at me. Without even saying a word he knew what I wanted to say. He stood up and walked over to his bedroom, giving me one last look before disappearing behind the glass. I sat watching him walking around, moving a few things here and there. I reached over to my bag and sifted through a few outfits before coming upon a simple black nightie.

It probably wasn't much compared to the things he'd seen, but it would do.

My eyes glanced back at Chuck behind the crystal toned glass, which really only showed the objects silhouette, and stood up, walking towards the bathroom where I could be alone to change.

Once I shut the door behind me I brushed the hair out of my face and took off my jacket. I felt hot. Possibly from the interaction with Chuck, possibly just from being sick. Since being in the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror, a small knotted feeling in my stomach had suddenly crept up on me. I couldn't stand it after what seemed like 2 minutes, so I quickly took off my dress, then my tights.

My bra was something I'd contemplated on letting Chuck take off, but I quickly unclipped it and slide the nightie on.

I walked back out and into the room to see Chuck lounging on the left side of the bed in his pajamas. I sat down on the right side and stayed quiet. My thoughts were buzzing with everything that had occurred and everything that would, I couldn't find the right words to speak even if I'd wanted to say something.

"If you wanna leave... now would be the time."

I sat silent for a moment before lightly shaking my head. "I don't wanna be alone.." I looked over at Chuck, who only agreed with me.

"Neither do I."

It was all I needed to hear. I leaned over towards the candle he'd lit while I was changing and blew it out. Darkness took over as I felt the bed shake while he got more comfortable. I laid down and rolled closer to him, only to find his hands immediately catching me and pulling me towards him.

His lips hungrily found mine, his tongue equally greedy as his hands seemed to enjoy the silk texture of my nightie while roaming over my body.

I pressed my body against his and he roughly responded by doing the same, once again leaving my mouth to kiss my neck. This time he didn't stop there though.

He began by kissing my chest, my body. I let him remove my nightie without struggle, shuddering quietly. Chuck didn't share a word of what was on his mind, but I could gauge the turmoil behind his expression. He was fighting his own feelings about everything that had happened today, and yet trying to give me some pleasure out of all this while combating his side of the pleasure.

His tongue danced across my stomach, very slowly moving down to my hipbone. Air hissed out between my lips, and his lips hungrily continued. I strained upward, letting out a small moan, more eager than I had ever admitted for this.

I knew it was wrong to do, I didn't love Chuck after all, but I had to admit; The way his tongue worked, his fingers slowly trailing up my sides － he knew what he was doing.

He'd finally reached my thigh as he lifted my leg up, hooking it over his shoulder while he continued his teasing licks. I couldn't take the waiting anymore. I'd always imagined Chuck to be teasing, which he definitely was being, but also rough.

After a shudder and a moan, a more primal Chuck had surfaced. Breathing erratic, I peered up at him, at his mercy. He swayed above me, looking me over, hooked a hand under my knee, and pulled me toward him.

On one last _Chuck_ from me, we merged together.

I sucked in a breath that could be deciphered as both pain and pleasure, something that seemed to go naturally hand in hand here. A twinge of pain hit my abdomen, and then mellowed as I waited it out. I didn't know why, but Chuck didn't move, which I could only be thankful for. I pushed through the pain, and when I opened my eyes, I admired the view suspended above me.

Chuck's face was motionless, his eyelids covering his eyes from me. They opened a charred brown, like I was staring at the burnt remainders of a fire. He was opposing a different fire for me. A more dangerous flame we were challenging fate by playing with and hoping it didn't set us ablaze － The heat burning in my stomach could have given it a run for its money.

Reaching for him, I moaned my encouragement. It was all he wanted to hear from me, for he immediately propped me up. The tiniest friction set my hips rolling. Then, our breathing synchronized, he aided me in moving. The fire between us was fed.

I clung to him, unable to shift for myself. I could do little more than let him manipulate my body.

His moves were deliberate, fast, and just as I'd expected from Chuck, rough. He wasn't making love to me, this was just sex. A fuck to help him get over Blair. I couldn't tell if the pain was from the way he was moving, the position or it just being my first time, but I wanted it to stop.

I shuddered his name, which must have sounded like I was enjoying it, because soon after Chuck sped up.

His breath blew hard against my skin. Choosing to divide my attention to focus beyond the feeling of him inside and against me, I listened to the noises rumbling out of his mouth. He was moaning, and between every long, panted noise was something that sounded like a name.

I couldn't make it out though, Chuck gave a few last, hard, thrusts, and let out a grunting sound with a shudder of his own. I didn't have to guess what happened. At least _he'd_ enjoyed himself. I didn't even come close to feeling anything but pain.

Chuck stayed there, panting and exhausted for a few minutes before rolling off of me and laying back down on his side of the bed. I rolled over and immediately curled up into a ball.

I loved Nate. Nate was the one I wanted to do this with. He would've been gentle, loving, tender. He would've asked if I was okay. He would've made sure more than once that I wanted to do this.

He would've given me advice about my family. He would've hugged me, and loved me while it was happening. Kissed me the whole time to make the pain go away.

Here endeth the lesson.

Fancy little tidbit about wolves: Did you know that during the mating season, breeding wolves become very affectionate with one another in anticipation of the female being in heat. The pack tension also rises as each mature wolf feels urged to mate. idk, I just thought it was fitting for these two ;D


End file.
